I suppose I haven’t written because my thoughts have been too scattered to come up with a coherent post. I very much dislike writing random posts that don’t have anything to do with anything, but writing isn’t just about always trying to get some profound point across, right? It’s about setting free whatever emotions you’re experiencing.
As my looming journey to Spain draws closer, I find myself torn between an adrenaline rush as I scramble to do everything I need to do before I leave, and apathy, as I feel completely overwhelmed by the thoughts of not seeing my family and friends every day for nine months.
This year has been spent truly developing the internal strength and confidence I will need to live in a foreign country on my own. However, as I delve deeper and deeper, I’m finding it harder and harder to resurface back to daily life.
Always being a person of extremes, I suppose this makes sense. I’ve constantly gone through phases where I am either social to the point where I myself feel neglected and run down after a few months of no me-time, or I am too antisocial to the point where I am borderline turning into a loner. Currently I’m on the latter end of the spectrum and trying hard to get out of it before I hit the point of no return. Not to mention it is absolutely silly to be in this state since it is my last couple of months to really spend time with people that I care about.
I suppose what it all comes down to is seeking that ever elusive balance. Yet once I get home after work it’s so easy to melt into the lovely couch with the air conditioner on and daydream about my life in Spain.
Still, a long way to go yet. I’m excited about life and where I’m headed, though my behavior may say otherwise. Grand adventures are always exciting, aren’t they?